• Moira

To make a perfect otp:

1. Create two cute people, fit to preference. I like a height difference, secrets, a pinch of sass, and conflicting interests. Mix in a tablespoon of Baggage (or, you know, a gallon, if you’re like me) into each. This is also where any confused/mistaken sexuality would go.

2. Stir in a dash and a pound of (arbitrary or no) dislike or general avoidance of the other into one or both of your cuties.

3. Pour the two mixtures in a bowl. Watch the sparks fly, add plot slowly, mixing constantly, until the mixture is a soft dough.

4. This is the most important step. Mix EXACTLY one (1) teaspoon of love into your mixture. Everything else is relative, but the love must be exact. Love is the yeast of an otp—too much and it’ll blow up, too little and it’ll stay dense and won’t rise. Let this new mixture rise until it has doubled in size—just enough time to let the characters get close, but not enough for them to realize their hatred and/or awkwardness is just sexual tension.

5. This is the point where you beat the dough to really develop the bonds between the characters. When I say beat, I mean take out any and all issues you may have on the dough until it feels slightly more tense in your hands. Transfer to a bread pan.

6. Preheat the oven to Hellfire.

7. Pop the pan in. Let it bake until the climax hits, and then set out to cool through the falling action. It should be a nice golden color with a smell like the god of otps just belched in your face (basically, perfect happiness and some serious heartache).

8. Enjoy!

9. Cry!

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