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The New War on Breakfast

Updated: Aug 28, 2019

I am proposing a war on breakfast foods being put into a box labeled “Breakfast Foods.”


A list of good breakfast foods that are not “Breakfast Foods”:

  • cold pizza

  • hot pizza

  • pasta

  • rice

  • dandelions, if you’re into that sort of thing

  • broccoli

  • a bowl of ice cream

  • steak, directly followed by a Kit Kat bar

  • leftovers

  • watermelon

  • chicken nuggets, especially at three in the morning

  • seriously, leftovers for breakfast is a gift from God

  • literally anything

  • except asparagus, but not because it’s not good enough; it’s just not good period and nobody should be subjected to it

  • macaroni


This is about the acceptance and normalization of non-breakfast foods being eaten for breakfast. Please, stop the stigma.

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